It’s funny how time flies when you’re a hermit cranking out code 10 hours a day, attempting to make something concrete but all the while watching your once rising Internet star (ha!) plummet like the Dow circa September ‘08. And now you’re just starting blog posts with vastly overused metaphors. Ah well.
But hey, I made an iPhone app! It’s called iPose, and it features, amongst other things, scantily-clad ladies.
I’m also nearly done with my next app, Leap Quest! It is seventeen times more complex than iPose (*actual ratio of complexity more complex than 17 : 1), and is quite entertaining, if I may say so myself. It also has cutesy graphics that would be suitable for an 8-year-old (and no, I didn’t have to go door-to-door, Walter).
Based on my developmental progression, you might assume that my grand plan is to have 8-year-olds innocently obtain Leap Quest and then become interested in my brand, Punkbot, and then via the app store or my website accidentally stumble across aforementioned iPose scantily-cladness, thus prematurely exposing them to toxic American adult values earlier than they might have had they depended on discovering a hint of nipple through static on their friend’s satellite TV (wait, that was my generation. Today you can just google image search any two random words and visually feast on fetishes you’ve never even dreamed of!) But I don’t have grand plans. Only grandiose ones.
You know what? I rather like ranting. I wrote some “rants” as a sort of online humor column back in college, before there were “blogs”, which makes me kind of cool and iconoclastic, except it was also before “anyone cared”, so I wasn’t able to capitalize on that coolness. I should really return to my ranting roots. Maybe I will.
Anywho, I just thought you may have been wondering if there was An App For Cute Yellow Jumping Sun-Flower-Germ-Looking Dudes. There will be soon, so stay tuned. And check out this youtube trailer:
Apparently Apple’s App Store Databases Are So Complex That They Take 5+ Weeks To Update My Goddamn Name
You can be up and running on the App Store in 24 hours if you want to parade your apps around under your own name.
However, apparently the additional overhead of having a company name adds so much stress to Apple’s systems that you’re placed in a queue and told to be patient while your “updates” chug along for FIVE weeks. And COUNTING.
So, developers be warned – think of your company name NOW, file for an LLC, and submit for an account (or conversion of an account, like I did) before you even begin programming. Because sitting around for weeks with a ready-to-go application sucks.
Also, definitely telephone the developer connection if you need to convert from an individual to company account. Don’t just send them an e-mail. I did that at first, and I never in three weeks even received a response. I had to actually call in to get things rolling (and then I had to *fax* my business documents in. What is this Apple, 1984? I thought you were running in slow motion and throwing objects through large oppressive screens?)
However, apparently the additional overhead of having a company name adds so much stress to Apple’s systems that you’re placed in a queue and told to be patient while your “updates” chug along for FIVE weeks. And COUNTING.
So, developers be warned – think of your company name NOW, file for an LLC, and submit for an account (or conversion of an account, like I did) before you even begin programming. Because sitting around for weeks with a ready-to-go application sucks.
Also, definitely telephone the developer connection if you need to convert from an individual to company account. Don’t just send them an e-mail. I did that at first, and I never in three weeks even received a response. I had to actually call in to get things rolling (and then I had to *fax* my business documents in. What is this Apple, 1984? I thought you were running in slow motion and throwing objects through large oppressive screens?)
Your mobile device has encountered an unexpected error (0xE8000001)
If you’re building & deploying apps to your iPhone, you may encounter this dreaded and shamefully unhelpful error message at some time. It’s happened twice to me; the first time, after scouring the Internets for answers, it looked like I only had a couple of choices: either jailbreak my iPhone and do some SSH trickery or restore to a previous version. I went for restoring, and it was even more irritating than I thought it would be.
But you don’t have to restore your phone, and you don’t need to jailbreak, either; just change the application’s package identifier:
=>
The hidden problem (as explained by the post linked to above) is that there are broken bits of your app hanging around in an inaccessible folder on the iPhone. However, if you change the package name, it will use a different folder for deployment, so you will no longer be dealing with the broken parts.
Of course, if you’re really sold on that initial app identifier, then you’ll have to restore or jailbreak eventually. But maybe by the time your app is ready to send off to the Committee of Endless Deliberation, you’ll be on the next OS, and it will have some sort of automatic cleanup to deal with this issue. I mean, it had better.
But you don’t have to restore your phone, and you don’t need to jailbreak, either; just change the application’s package identifier:
com.initech.jumptoconclusions
com.initech.jumptoconclusions2
The hidden problem (as explained by the post linked to above) is that there are broken bits of your app hanging around in an inaccessible folder on the iPhone. However, if you change the package name, it will use a different folder for deployment, so you will no longer be dealing with the broken parts.
Of course, if you’re really sold on that initial app identifier, then you’ll have to restore or jailbreak eventually. But maybe by the time your app is ready to send off to the Committee of Endless Deliberation, you’ll be on the next OS, and it will have some sort of automatic cleanup to deal with this issue. I mean, it had better.
